2010 Hell yeah!

Unofficially, the new year starts on Monday. We all get to go back to reality after two weeks of Holiday cheer. Excited? I know I am.

While I have a tendency to love what I do, I am, afraid I do not love the thought of going back to what I do this year. I am wondering if these feelings are going to pass or if I need to take more drastic measures. I mean, the job almost pays the bills. But I feel like I am riding the short bus on slow Disneyland tour of the rest of my life. The song is getting annoying and the animatronics are getting overweight as we go along. Something tells me the end of this ride is going to involve heart pills, lipitor, and a rubber glove. Not the kind of place you want to take your family.

So what do I do?

Quit my job, probably not. While quitting would present me with an abundance of time to try out other things, I am not sure how the money will be made. Being a consultant is good money for someone. On average, 50% or more of my billable income goes to the company, not in my pocket. I work for someone else, and I am beginning to wonder why. I know I am good at what I do, but I hate dealing with the administrative tasks required to manage my own business, much less building the client base on my own. It is a job above and beyond, the daily routine, to manage your own company. The thought is alluring and looks nicer every day. I am motivated by money, but I also am motivated by enjoying what I do. If I am not enjoying it, is it the task or the money.

I could find time to work on more creative projects. I have a book I need to finish, or make much longer. I also have two other concepts of work that I want to integrate into the theme of the first story. That being said, the process of writing, for me, is a process of opportunity. In other words, I can’t just sit down and write. It has to come naturally, as evidenced by the lack of new regular content on this website.

There are other options as well.

I have always enjoyed pottery, but how many ashtrays does somebody need. I tried painting, but for some reason what I see myself painting and what I actually can paint are two different things. At least with pottery I can get what I see in my head to the actual media at hand.

Photography, while I enjoy it, I can’t imagine doing it for a living. It would cease being fun if someone said, “Go take photos of this, process out all the people, then crop it to emphasize our logo”. Besides, there are tons of photographers out there making amazing art with their cameras. I have no desire to compete with any of them. I’ll just keeping shooting when and what I want. I was going to try nude photography this year, but nobody wanted to see me naked. Even the cat runs when I get out of the shower. Somebody finally told me I don’t have to be nude. That may have been part of the problem.

The point is, love what you do. There are moments when I don’t want to be responsible and there are moments that responsibility seems like an effortless task. It goes back to balance. Finding what makes you happy, doing it, and taking time for the other stuff as well. As they say, “Stop and smell the roses, just don’t eat them covered in gravy. You might spill it.” I am sure somebody has said it.

Fine, I’ll watch what I eat, or at least eat less of it. If there is a hell, it involves a severe lack of country gravy.

It is the time of year when we inevitably revisit our past and evaluate our progress and our plans. Where am I going, what am I doing, and why am I doing it. It happens. We find ourselves on the Disneyland ride again and look over to find an empty bag of white cheddar cheese puffs and a couple of empty Coors Light tallboys. This year I think I will get off the ride and start trying to make some sense of this little amusement park called life. Whatever I do, it will involve food, art, or technology. But this time the soundtrack will involve the Pandora app on my itouch. At least then I can give my life’s soundtrack the finger. No, not that finger.

Have a good year, let’s check in later and see what happens. I will be taking little steps all year long to change the outcome of this ride.